my sister jenn

addiction related suicide awareness

on the 5th of june 2025, my sister jenn took her own life after struggling with cocaine addiction for almost 10 years.

for a long time, i didn't talk publicly about this - partly because i didn't want addiction to define her.

jenn was my favourite person in the world

she was funny, goofy, caring, strong, fiercely loyal, smart, selfless and an incredible nurse.

but after sharing more of her story, i realised how many people were carrying similar experiences.

i heard from people in recovery, people currently struggling with addiction, and families who had lost loved ones. one thing became clear: jenn's story is not unique.

if sharing her story helps one person seek help earlier, feel less alone, or understand addiction differently, then something good can come from something so painful

the dangerous misconception

like many, i thought addiction looked like someone whose life had completely fallen apart.

but jenn was still going to work as a nurse. she was making plans. she was progressing in her career. she was paying off debt. even on the day she died, she was making plans for the future. she was still jenn.

looking back, i realise that i mistook her ability to keep going as evidence that she was okay.

it wasn't.

one of the most dangerous misconceptions about addiction is that if someone is still functioning, they must not be struggling that much.

but addiction does not suddenly become serious when someone's life falls apart.

i remember jenn telling me about going to cocaine anonymous and feeling like she didn't belong there. compared to the people around her, she felt she wasn't unwell enough.

when i later read her medical notes, i saw similar themes. because she could laugh, smile and engage with the people around her, the severity of what she was experiencing wasn't always obvious, or was even questioned.

this is where i think we have failed people like jenn.

we have created an image of addiction that is so extreme that many people don't recognise themselves in it.

we wait until someone loses everything.

we wait until there is a crisis.

we wait until the suffering becomes impossible to ignore.

but people shouldn't have to prove they are unwell enough before they deserve help.

resources for those going through addiction

if you are struggling with addiction, supporting someone who is, or grieving the loss of a loved one, the organisations below may be able to help.

withyou

withyou is a free and confidential charity that supports people experiencing challenges with drugs, alcohol and mental health. they offer support for adults, young people and families, whether you're looking to cut down, stop completely, or simply talk to someone about your concerns.

smart recovery

A science-based recovery programme that helps people build motivation, manage urges, and develop practical skills for long-term recovery. It can be a good option for people looking for an alternative to 12-step programmes.

cocaine anonymous

A peer-support fellowship for people who want to stop using cocaine or other mind-altering substances. Meetings are free, available across the UK and online, and focus on recovery through shared experience.

nhs addiction

The NHS provides information on drug and alcohol addiction, as well as guidance on accessing local treatment services. A good starting point if you're looking for professional support or aren't sure where to turn.

adfam

Provides support for families, friends and partners affected by someone else's addiction, as well as those bereaved through substance use. They offer support groups, helplines and opportunities to connect with others who understand what you're going through.

samiritans

A free, confidential listening service available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. You don't need to be in crisis to contact them – they're there for anyone who needs someone to talk to.

call 116 123 (free from any phone)